One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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