Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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