Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize