Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
