It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
