sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize