It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i believe in u and ur pee
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