this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
