I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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