it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
