You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
