Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
