He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize