Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
