i will never coherently bang her
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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