Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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