Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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