is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
This is my life. Enjoy the view
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
