how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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