new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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