GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
