yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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