I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
