So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
