I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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