Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
