I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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