isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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