I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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