just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
