I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize