this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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