so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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