She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
MIDGETS
????
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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