That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
