Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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