I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
