You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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