Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
