Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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