No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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