so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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