all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
foreskin is a definite game changer
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
