I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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