Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
