He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
