I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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