so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
