i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
