My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
