My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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