it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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