maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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