i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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