You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
