Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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