I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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