i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
