Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
as a side note pls kill me
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
